It has been an exhausting, fun week for me out in Salt Lake City. I have to say that I am so glad to be home, even if I did land at almost midnight last night. Usually I take the first flight out but this year I ended up taking the last flight from Salt Lake back into Austin. I wanted to be able to just relax in the morning and not fight the mass of demonstrators all trying to get back home. See, I need as much "relaxation" as I can get right before I get on the plane, because I don't fly very well at all.
Let me share just a couple of tips for people who may find themselves on a plane with me one day, and more importantly, the crew members of those planes:
1. I really, truly want to trust you, dear crew members. Honestly, I do. But for me, trust comes through an open and honest line of communication, and I feel that you are most likely lying to me right at the get-go. Let's take your little speech at the beginning of the flight where you explain all of the safety features, like the little flotation device I am supposed to use "in the event of a water landing". What you really mean is "in the event we plummet like a rock and disintegrate into the water".
I may not be a physics major, but I still remember the time I came off the 20 foot high-dive board at the pool the wrong way and landed on my back. That hurt so much the lifeguard almost had to fish me out. Now let's just extrapolate that to 35,000 feet in a metal tube loaded with flammable fuel. Unless your pilot is named "Sully" I am pretty sure none of us will be using that yellow vest. Besides, I guarantee that any landing that our plane makes that is not on an FAA approved runway will be a "water" landing, at least in my seat.
Can you pretty please reassure me that this wing was not on fire the flight before mine? I posted this on Facebook to ask my flight attendant friend that I love and trust for a good explanation, and one of her friends that sounded knowledgable told me it was most likely dirt that was forced through the flaps, but really? I saw both episodes of "The Twilight Zone" where there was a man on the wing of the plane. So, just pay someone a little extra to pour some Dawn dish soap on that and give it a little scrub, okay?
3. The two-fer landing. I know all you pilots were likely really into competition with your friends when you were kids. You probably liked to skip rocks across the pond, run races, and play chicken on your bikes to see who would swerve first. HOWEVER...I really need you to not play "skip the plane across the runway on landing to see which passenger will scream first". It's me. I will scream first, loudest, and longest if our tires do not solidly contact that tarmac and then stay there.
And flight attendant, I understand that objects in the overhead bins have probably shifted since my kidneys just shifted into my spleen and my liver shifted into my lungs. I'll just be sitting here trying to regain my composure while some other passenger risks opening the bin up top.
So, those are my tips for helping me fly a little bit better. Please feel free to forward this to anyone you know that is in the airline industry. I am sure I am not the only person who feels these things, even though I am one of the few who will admit to them.
On a happier note (meaning all things to do with stamping!) take a look at this:
Anyone who signs up to be a demonstrator with me during the month of August will get this amazing kit to decorate for free. And, as an added bonus, I will have a day when you can bring your kit, come over, and I will show you how to make it up! This is a great project for you to show to your new customers at your first workshop that Stamping Up! is a lot more than cards and scrapbook pages. Feel free to ask me if you have any questions about our starter kit or what it means to be a demo. I am happy to answer them.
I'll be putting up a few more convention pictures soon, as well as blogging from the road as we travel west this week. While I am gone remember that you can still shop my online store by clicking the highlighted words and going to the "Products" tab.
I hope you have a great day, and until next time, Happy Stamping!